Hungry Still

This non-chapter, "Hungry Still", is my favorite chapter of Feinberg's book. It resonated with me more than any previous chapter. Her first sentence, "I'm convinced that people today know a lot more about how to become a Christian than about how to be one," is simple, yet profound.

Feinberg quotes Jesus standing at the door, knocking, and the phrase that popped out at me was, "and he with Me." We invite Jesus in to dine and, in that moment, we are making a powerful decision. In that moment we are making the decision to change our lives.

Feinberg asks, "How do we have depth?" I wonder... how do you find that depth in your own lives? How do you find the meaning and closeness that brings you near to the heart of God?

I love Feinberg's assertion that God wants to be closer to us. She mentions it twice in this section - if we already have a strong relationship with God, God wants to make it stronger, and if we are God's children, then God desires to spend time with us.

We are, indeed, God's children. Precious in God's sight. But, it is our responsibility to maintain those ties. Remember the old bumper sticker, "Feeling far from God? Guess who moved."

Feinberg's reminder is a good one, "If we are going to be God's people, part of the kingdom, then we must have more than information about God to offer; we must have God dwellling within us." Our relationship must be more than book learning. People need to see authentic, deeply held, understood and valued beliefs.

What are yours?

I hope that this book reading has been a good experience for you. It's been fun for me. I do love books! And this made me actually finish one of the books in my pile of "to read" books.

Thank you for sharing this experience with me.

Love and peace to you all. And may we all continue to hunger for God.

Tam

.006 Have You Heard?

This chapter, the final chapter of Hungry for God, takes us through the journey of decision making. This is often one of the most difficult tasks of our daily lives. You’d think that, since we are constantly making decisions, we’d be very good at it. But all too often, decisions stymie us.
 
I’ve often thought that life would be much simpler if God would simply tell me what to do. I’ve known people who believed that God did that for them. They could hear God’s voice as clear as day. And the statement, “God told me _______________” (you fill in the blank) made complete sense.
 
In fact, Gary and I had a woman in one of our churches for whom God chose her dining room set. I jest not. She was truly grateful for this wonderful blessing in her life.
 
That’s never been my story. And so, I rely on other things to guide my decisions. And I like the questions that Feinberg uses to guide her decision-making process.
 
Do these questions work for you? Which ones most resonate with you? Which do not? And why?
 
Have you had experiences in which you have felt God’s leading? Have you made decisions that made God’s head shake in amazement over your every move?
 
Feinberg’s look at Mary’s  “treasuring all these things, pondering them in her heart,” encouraging us to do likewise, makes me ponder something else. When Feinberg writes, “The words God speaks are sacred and are often meant just for you,” I agree. But tying this all together with the idea that sometimes we’re wrong in our understanding of what God is telling us, cause me concern about us misinterpreting the messages of God. If we’re keeping it all to ourselves because we think we’re not understanding God’s messages, we’d be much better off running our thoughts by someone else wiser than ourselves. A mentor, a pastor, a teacher, an elder. Someone who has known and followed this God a long, long time might be a good place to start.
 
I do like Feinberg’s concluding thoughts on the danger of focusing on our disappointments. She warns that if we do this, we might miss out on “the divine appointments God has for us.” She writes, “When I look back on my mistakes, I’m still grateful for what God showed me through them.”
 
I pray that your life has been full of many joys and blessings. And when it has not, I pray that God has blessed you with many lessons worth learning!
 
Peaceful thoughts for your week,
Tam
 
P.S. Next week will bring the concluding thoughts for our book, as we take a look at the closing section, “Hungry Still.”

.005 The Language of God

I must've been in a more receptive mood, as I read this chapter. Cynical Tam was a little further removed, this time!

I love the idea that "God uses multiple verbal and nonverbal cues to get our attention..." Doesn't it make sense that God would reach out to us in many different ways? The world is so big and we all learn and grow in different ways; it only makes sense that God would "speak" to each of us in ways that we might see, learn, understand, grow.

Feinberg deals with scripture and liturgy as ways to seek and find God. How do you find God's presence? God's messages for your life? How do you "hear" God's thoughts?

Feinberg writes, "The clarity and boldness of God Thoughts sometimes makes me wonder if God really did speak aloud." Have you had this experience? What was it like? And what were those times of silence like? Did they affect your relationship with the Almighty?

What about visions? That's not something we think about much, these days. Have you ever had a "vision" experience? How did it guide your life?

Dreams are something that may feel a little more comfortable. We may chalk it up to our subconscious guiding us. But, if God came to the ancients in dreams, can God do the same for us? Did God do so for them, or is that just a beautiful way to tell those Biblical stories?

While I may not relate to each of Feinberg's points, I do appreciate the way she uses story in her writing.

And, like Feinberg, "I'm in awe of the beauty of God's creation and the ways in which he reveals the sacred to us in nature. The power of God is emblazoned in everything from the Grand Tetons to the ladybug resting on a leaf."

I haven't been to the Tetons since I was a teen, but the awesome splendour of their peaks resides in my heart. At that time, I would tell people, "I'm never going to get married, but if I do, I'm getting married there!" Why? Because it was, and still is, the most beautiful place I've ever been in my life. It's impossible to look at the magnificence of those mountains and not believe in God. At least, it is for me. (Why I equated that with a wedding, I don't know!)

What is your God language? How does God speak to you? Listen carefully. Very, very carefully. Because God has so much to say.

Blessings on you and your listening ears.

Tam

.004 Readiness

I'm thinking that I wasn't ready to read this chapter. Or, perhaps, Cynical Tamalyn was the reader. Or, maybe this chapter was just a bit on the sappy side.

Whatever the case, Feinberg's writings didn't sit quite as well with me, this go round. I completely understand the feeling of not always connecting with God, just because I'm in a sacred setting or situation. Being in worship does not a worshipful experience make. Those of us who plan worship know this QUITE well!

I appreciate the fact that my worshipful attitude is mine for the making/breaking. (Well, usually.) And that I must ready my heart for God on a regular basis. I appreciate Feinberg's point that one shouldn't "look where you don't want to go." (Having allowed negativity to pull me in many WRONG directions in life, I know this peril quite well.) And I like her point that "the process of seeking God increases our awareness of our dependence on him." And, again, like Feinberg, I often feel that I feel no different after pouring my whole self out to God.

Hmm, that's a lot of appreciation. So, where do things go wrong, for me? I guess it's just in a few spots.

Feinberg says, "Spending time in the Scriptures expands the library the Holy Spirit uses to speak. The Spirit selects a story or passage to correct or challenge us."

Um, I just don't know. Is God's Spirit really turning the pages of our Bibles for us? Making our eyeballs focus on certain passages so that we'll learn specific lessons? Maybe yes, maybe no. I just don't know. But, I know I'm having questions, here. I'm thinking that the Spirit has other jobs to do.

Feinberg admits that silence, and listening to God, are difficult for her. Are they difficult for you? I'm guessing that silence is sometimes a great gift. The opportunity to sit and listen for God's answer can be calming and a blessing in itself; perhaps a chance to learn and grow in that quiet moment. (But, maybe that's what she means when she says, "Sometimes the silence of God is the message.")

I also questioned Feinberg's explanation of the Spirit's sending her messages (e.g. "your headlights are on). Would this be the work of the Spirit or a memory?

Yeah, Cynical Tam is thinking that there are grieving, fearful, working, learning, etc... people in this world, depending on the help of the Spirit. I don't think the Spirit needs to worry about my headlights.

And, one final Cynical Tam comment - Feinberg writes, "The Lord knows what is best for us, and when we are reaching for bronze, God reminds us that gold is available if we will just wait." Cynical Tam writes, "Yeah, and sometimes we can learn to live with bronze."

One grumpy girl who still believes that God helps those who help themselves, signing out!

Love,
Tam

.003 Shaped by God's Voice

How do you respond to this chapter? This one causes more turmoil for me than Feinberg's previous writing. It causes me to examine my own thoughts a bit more.

As she starts out with the story about smells and ministering to the homeless and people whose odor might not be the best, my reaction is very personal. Smells are one of my gut reaction difficulties in life. Or, gag reaction, if you want to know the truth. But I know, deep inside, that God's love is bigger than my gag reaction. And I know that people's needs are bigger than my squeamishness.

But, there's something else that Feinberg doesn't address that I wonder about - addiction. Many of the people to whom we bring care are addicts. To simply ignore that fact seems irresponsible. Sometimes God calls us to do more than simply share stories of Jesus; bring more than just spiritual healing.

Feinberg writes, "When I hear someone else's story of God's providing comfort in their lives, I often find my soul comforted." I don't know Scum of the Earth Church, but I hope they address the broader picture.

Feinberg goes on to tell the story of the missionary who came home to the grand welcome home celebration, but not for him. It was for the returning movie star. All was not lost, however, when the missionary realized that he would be welcomed home when he reached his final reward.

Rita Nakashima Brock, as well as other scholars, teach us that we are now living in God's realm. And, even if they are wrong, human beings have a great need for comfort, welcome, tender, loving care. As I read this, I was reminded of the Andy Griffith episode where Barney comes home to Mayberry after a long absence. Like the long absent missionary, there is the grand welcome intended for the movie star and Barney momentarily mistakes it as being for himself. His disappointment is palpable, heartbreaking as he exits the train and makes his way down the platform. But, he is not alone. For Andy is there, welcoming him home with his customary wisdom, gentleness, and love.

We, too, need this in our lives. And we need to offer it to others. We need to be the people who will bring God's gentle, loving welcome to the lives of others when they are feeling alone, bereft, needy.

Moving on, what role does conviction play in your life? It's not something we talk much about these days. Not in our churches, not in our modern lives. It's not something I necessarily identify with, unless I think about God holding up a mirror in front of me and saying, "OK, be honest here. Do you really think you're living up to my expectations? Or your own?

Feinberg writes, "Conviction is like a tangy fruit God uses to nourish us.... Our lives are flavored by the renewed presence of God. Beauty is carved into the core of our character." How lovely is that?

How do the remaining sections resonate with you? Feinberg writes about the spiritual discovery in scripture, "These experiences expand my capacity to know God, be filled by God, and be poured out for God. They stir the hunger to know God more." Have you felt that hunger? What stirs you, pulls you in to scripture, makes scripture real or meaningful for you?

What about prayer? How do you feel about Feinberg's question, "What if?" Can we change God's mind with our prayers? Or is God immutable? She says that God is inviting us to pray. That God looks for people to pray and become a part of "what he is already doing." What do you think of that? Does God need us to pray? Want us to pray? What part do we play in the grand scheme of things?

As for guidance, I love Feinberg's statement, "...God gives the greatest leaders guidance on a need-to-know basis. I realize this, yet still find myself begging God, Tell me more and tell me now." Boy, wouldn't that be nice? Or, would it? Feinberg says, "God doesn't just guide the places where we go or the people we meet; the Lord is involved in the miniscule details of our lives." Do you agree?

Love. Do you ever take the time to just be with God? Feinberg writes, "I sit in the silence and enjoy stillness with God. No agenda. No words. No challenge. No correction or instruction. Just being together."

Take a moment. Right now. In the stillness of this moment, find a quiet place, ignore your chores and your challenges, ignore everything that MUST be done. And just ENJOY God. Just appreciate that being who calls to you, loves you, created you, and is with you at every moment of every day. Just because you are you and God is God.

And let that Being shape who you are.

Love,
Tam

.002 Kairos Moments

"Lord, are you speaking to me?" Feinberg asks in response to an awkward passage of scripture. Do you ever find yourself asking this question? Maybe in response to scripture. Maybe in response to something that's happened in your life - some quirky, difficult, or confusing situation.

Oddly enough, I found myself in the sanctuary this morning, doing just that. In one of those "Okay, I'm a little confused and could use an explanation" moments, I stood looking up at the cross, waiting for an answer.

Whatever it is that brings us to the foot of the cross or down on our knees, I imagine that, in that moment, we are at our most vulnerable and honest state of being. Perhaps that is why God is able to work with us and through us, bringing about the "attitude shift" that Feinberg experienced. (And I do love her realization that SHE is the one in need of the attitude shift. Boy, can I relate to that!)

Now, what about chronos and kairos? Are you familiar with the two ways of looking at time? I actually preached a sermon about "God's time" or kairos time, several years ago, and I still get all hung up on chronos time, instead. I completely lose sight of the fact that I need to focus on the ways in which God is moving in and around our lives; sometimes missing the beauty of the presence of God's Spirit as she brings blessing after blessing into my days.

I'm so glad to know that none of you would EVER do such a thing, that you are able to, as Feinberg says, "recognize and seize the divine, opportune moments before us."

When she gets to the story of creation, she reminds us that, "Adam and Eve lose access to the garden, but they never lose God.... God goes with them, and continues to speak." As she segues from God speaking in Biblical times, to God's voice and action in our own lives, my questions begin...

When Feinberg tells the story of being denied the internship at the magazine of her choice and, instead, being given an internship at another magazine, she writes, "...I felt thrown by God, but now I look back and recognize the wisdom and grace of God's guidance." And so, I wonder... how much you see God's hand at work in the daily events of our lives?

Moving on to the stories of transformation, what is it that helps you realize that you can move on in times of pain or stagnation or when you have those walls built up in front of you? Angels don't come to all of us, as they did to Abraham and Sarah, with happy messages of good news for the future to make us laugh. So, what keeps you going?

And have you been that friend who is just able to be present with someone in that horrible time of uncertainty or pain? Or, have you been the one in need? Sometimes the "friends" who come with their platitudes are more hurtful than anything else. But those who come in love and just offer their comfortable presence (and their kleenex) are better than anything else.

Finally, we come to the section on the Holy Spirit and Hershey, the dog. I love that Feinberg takes Hershey everywhere. And I love her analogy between her scooping up the dog and the Holy Spirit doing the same for her. Doesn't it feel good to know that the Spirit is capable of lovingly and tenderly swooping in and gathering us up, when the need arises? But another question arose for me...

Feinberg writes, "When I jump to take matters into my own hands, rather than trust God, I find everything falling apart."

Here's my question... Is she underestimating the abilities, judgment and intelligence of human beings - who are created in the image of God?

Remember the questions at the end of the book, especially #'s 7, 8, 9, & 10.

May your days be filled with many Kairos Moments.

Peace,
Tam

.001 An Unforgettable Invitation

Do you hear God calling to you? Singing to you? What a lovely image. Feinberg gives us many images of God. Here is a beckoning, nurturing God, and shortly after, she reminds us that God is a God who is strong enough, wise enough to answer our prayers in ways that may not be as we wish.

Feinberg's first chapter begins by questioning, "what it looks like to forage for the divine," as well as, "How do you hear from God?"

How do you find God, in your life? Is it a search on which you have embarked? And how do you hear God's voice? What advice would you give to other people just setting forth on the journey?

Being a wolf lover, I have to admit that I didn't much care for Feinberg's dream and the "solution" to her dilemma, but I do appreciate the peace she felt in God's presence! We use Jesus's name when we pray. We may use it at other times. What power do you find in his name? What comfort do you find in God's presence?

Could you relate to Feinberg's college years, as she strayed away from her closeness with God? Do you have times like that in your life? She writes, "I was away from God and miserable. I laid my face in my Bible and cried out, asking God to become the center and focus of my life again. Calm enveloped me. In the stillness of my being, the following words ran through my mind: You are my child, and I love you. You are mine; you are not your own. Come back to me."

She says, "God grabbed me by the scruff of the neck." Oh, my goodness. Wouldn't life be better if God would do that to us? Sometimes, literally?

"Come on, Tam. You screwed up, again. Come on back to the den for a bit. Let's just regroup and see if we can try things a little differently."

Feinberg continues, "I let myself dangle in God's gentle grip--and experienced new depths of peace. The faith my parents had exposed me to growing up became my own."

Bingo! The brilliant beauty of God's grace. In the asking, the releasing of oneself, peace is found. And it is as we experience these spirit-filled, sometimes surprising moments the faith of others seeps into our own being, our own hearts.

In our churches, it is our joy and our responsibility to help people find those moments. Whether people walk through the doors for the first time or they've been coming every Sunday of their lives, we want them to have those spirit-filled moments with God. Those moments in which they just know God is walking with them.

And, while we may not consider ourselves to be "evangelists," don't we want that gift for everyone? I mean, really, the people in line with you at the grocery store. The people driving next to you on the freeway. The people waiting with you in the ER. The people living in the house around the corner. Wouldn't you wish God's peace and God's blessings, an awareness of God's Spirit and the incredible miracle that that truly can be upon all of them? In some way?

I am SO not an evangelist. At least, not the kind we have so negatively branded in our brains. And I know all of you. You aren't either. You're very loving, kind people who just happen to be filled with God's love and are definitely guided by God's Spirit.

So, where does that leave us?

Feinberg tells us that she's made countless mistakes of her own. Trying too hard to convince people of their need for God. Afraid to speak up and sharing "wobbly" theology or being hypocritical.

Can we relate? I imagine so. So, how have you overcome, or CAN you overcome that problem? How can you let the REAL you emerge? How can that loving, kind, caring, beautiful person of faith and integrity shine?

I imagine that when Feinberg was praying for her sorority sisters, she was also living a life of integrity, letting God's love shine through her. Somehow, I don't think that just praying would do the trick!

What about the story Feinberg tells of Elijah? Do you feel for him, as he hides in the cave? As he rants and raves at God?

And, the whisper. Feinberg's description absolutely captures my breath. After the power and magnitude of the storm...

"Rather than manifest himself in all his brilliant glory and splendid power, God chooses to whisper."

No fiery bush. No great flood. No river of blood. Merely a whisper.

Feinberg continues, "The image of a whisper speaks to the posture of our relationship with God. Whispering is ineffective if the person we're trying to communicate with is on the other side of the room. God doesn't desire a long-distance relationship, but an intimate one."

Tiptoe closer. God just might be whispering to you. What do you hear?

(And remember the questions at the end of the book for this first chapter. Pay special attention to #'s 6, 8, 9, and 10.)

Peace,
Tam

The Intro: Divine Appetite

"Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start..."

I figure Maria had the right idea, so we'll follow her lead and begin with the introduction to our book. Although, if you're really paying attention, you might just stop to ponder the quote prior to the intro...

"Earth's crammed with heaven
And every common bush afire with God:
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes."
                              -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

And so, I ask you, are you ready to take off your shoes? Because I'm hoping, praying, that as we read and discuss this book, we will experience a "bush afire with God." I'm hoping, praying, that we will find that earth is so crammed with heaven that we can't imagine how we lived without noticing that before. I'm hoping, praying, that when we feel the need for God's presence in our lives, there is no moment of panic or doubt, for we will always know God's presence, always rejoice in that knowledge, and always feel so sure that we can share that knowledge with others.

Turning to Feinberg's intro, then, remember that we are at the BEGINNING of our journey. Feinberg starts with the basics. Hunger. Ah, yes. We know the meaning of the word. And yet, can we venture with her from physical hunger to spiritual? Does this have meaning for you?

Personally, I love how she weaves this together. Although, I'm not sure what it says about me that I was eating lunch as I began reading!

"While billions suffer in starvation and poverty, I live behind the plush curtain."

Ah, we know the plush curtain so well. Do we hide behind it? In what ways, I wonder?

Feinberg writes, "If physical hunger is a set of feelings that leads a person to search for food, then spiritual hunger is a set of experiences and longings that compels a person to search for God. Just as my body needs food to survive, my spirit needs God to thrive."

Does it? How does your spirit feel when you turn your back on God? Or, not even turning your back, when you just kind of walk around willy nilly, going about your days, just a little less than mindful of God's presence.

Feinberg mentions the substitutes for God (carbs and other possibilities for filling the void). What "works" for you? And how long does it "work" before you have to come back to God? Before you feel pain or distress or just the knowledge that there is a void in your life?

Sometimes, we just need to hear God's voice. It comes to us in many ways in our lives. How has it come to you?

Many of you know Janie Pemble in the Friendly Visitors' office. She tells the heartwrenching story of the time when she had to put their dog down. (Ah, yes, we all know how difficult that is.) One day, as she stood in her yard, broken from the grief, yet trying to compose herself so as not to show the enormity of it to her children, she asked God, "Please help me. Please just give me a sign that he's okay and that he's with you." Now, Janie loves birds, so she even specified that the sign come in the form of a bird. I'm not sure I could get that specific with God and God would listen, but apparently Janie can, because a few moments later, a beautiful, delicate, tiny hummingbird swept down a row of nearby raspberry bushes, then came and hovered directly in front of Janie's nose. Just hovered there, looking at her. For several seconds. Until Janie felt a sense of peace sweep through her. Until she knew that God had heard. And answered.

Sometimes, we just need to hear God's voice. Because we are, indeed, hungry for God.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. May God lead us. May we lead one another. And may we lean on one another and upon our God. For many blessings are to be found.

Peace,
Pastor Tam

P.S. Be sure to go through the discussion questions in the Reflection section at the end of the book. I'm particularly intrigued by your thoughts on:

2. What types of situations or encounters stir your hunger for God and remind you of your need for him?

4. Margaret describes spending months wondering, "Are you there, God?" Have you ever had a similar experience? Describe.

8. Why is it important to look for God in the everyday experiences of life?

9. When have you discovered God in the everyday?

10. What compels you to want to hear God's voice more in your life?

Read with Me, Pray with Me, Grow with Me!

Read with Me, Pray with Me, Grow with Me! This "blog" is being posted as a format for a discussion group of St. James people (or any others) who want to spend the summer of 2011 searching for God in new ways. Feel free to invite friends and loved ones to join you along on this journey. And may God find us to be faithful, flexible, yearning, generous people of spirit who are open to the Spirit. 


Our book: Margaret Feinberg's Hungry for God.