.004 Readiness

I'm thinking that I wasn't ready to read this chapter. Or, perhaps, Cynical Tamalyn was the reader. Or, maybe this chapter was just a bit on the sappy side.

Whatever the case, Feinberg's writings didn't sit quite as well with me, this go round. I completely understand the feeling of not always connecting with God, just because I'm in a sacred setting or situation. Being in worship does not a worshipful experience make. Those of us who plan worship know this QUITE well!

I appreciate the fact that my worshipful attitude is mine for the making/breaking. (Well, usually.) And that I must ready my heart for God on a regular basis. I appreciate Feinberg's point that one shouldn't "look where you don't want to go." (Having allowed negativity to pull me in many WRONG directions in life, I know this peril quite well.) And I like her point that "the process of seeking God increases our awareness of our dependence on him." And, again, like Feinberg, I often feel that I feel no different after pouring my whole self out to God.

Hmm, that's a lot of appreciation. So, where do things go wrong, for me? I guess it's just in a few spots.

Feinberg says, "Spending time in the Scriptures expands the library the Holy Spirit uses to speak. The Spirit selects a story or passage to correct or challenge us."

Um, I just don't know. Is God's Spirit really turning the pages of our Bibles for us? Making our eyeballs focus on certain passages so that we'll learn specific lessons? Maybe yes, maybe no. I just don't know. But, I know I'm having questions, here. I'm thinking that the Spirit has other jobs to do.

Feinberg admits that silence, and listening to God, are difficult for her. Are they difficult for you? I'm guessing that silence is sometimes a great gift. The opportunity to sit and listen for God's answer can be calming and a blessing in itself; perhaps a chance to learn and grow in that quiet moment. (But, maybe that's what she means when she says, "Sometimes the silence of God is the message.")

I also questioned Feinberg's explanation of the Spirit's sending her messages (e.g. "your headlights are on). Would this be the work of the Spirit or a memory?

Yeah, Cynical Tam is thinking that there are grieving, fearful, working, learning, etc... people in this world, depending on the help of the Spirit. I don't think the Spirit needs to worry about my headlights.

And, one final Cynical Tam comment - Feinberg writes, "The Lord knows what is best for us, and when we are reaching for bronze, God reminds us that gold is available if we will just wait." Cynical Tam writes, "Yeah, and sometimes we can learn to live with bronze."

One grumpy girl who still believes that God helps those who help themselves, signing out!

Love,
Tam